Life, Love & Loneliness by Crystal Lacey Winslow

Author:Crystal Lacey Winslow [Winslow, Crystal Lacey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Urban Life, African American, Fiction, General, Man-Woman Relationships, Contemporary Women, African American Actresses
Publisher: Melodrama Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Parker Brown-Tune

Maybe . . . life wasn’t so bad. For the past two weeks, I’d been having deep, meaningful conversations over the Internet with a wonderful man I met in the chat room. He was absolutely charming! We were both being very cautious, but we both wanted to meet each other. His name was Timothy and he described himself as tall, dark-chocolate and handsome. But what I liked most about him was that he was editor-in-chief of Success magazine. I pitched my interior decorating idea to him and he thought it was wonderful. Further, he encouraged me to pursue my idea about having my own television show, educating people on how to interior decorate their homes to replicate celebrity homes, but not at celebrity prices. Joshua was so negative regarding my career that I felt reluctant to share my aspirations with him or anyone.

Fortunately, Timothy made me feel so comfortable that eventually I opened up to him. He also said that if I was as good as I said I was, maybe, the magazine could do a spread for me!

Yesterday during the chat, I think he actually wanted to have cyber-sex! I deterred the conversation but I admit, he had me excited. I felt vibrant from the tips of my toes to my artistic fingertips. When Joshua finally did come in, he went off screaming about his “Goddamn telephone bill.” I really wished he would lighten up; or give up his mistress, because she wasn’t doing anything for his personality.

At first I was depressed, thinking that there was something wrong with me. That was until I was home one day, watching talk television. The host had a guest on her show that said men like Joshua were insecure and had low-self esteem, and they needed women to help build up their confidence. They thought that these women were catering to their needs, but in reality, they were the dependent ones. They were constantly looking for something because they are not happy within. That one television show gave me the push that I needed because, before that, I was mentally a mess.

Now I disregarded Joshua’s yelling and had stopped screaming along with him totally. But he kept yelling for attention. Just screaming about whatever he felt was wrong at the time. I think he’s noticed a change. I was no longer begging for his attention or questioning where he was because, truthfully, I didn’t care. He wass the one losing out on my good loving! I think there’s a breaking point in relationships for everyone. I put up with his philandering long enough. I cried enough tears, and I put in more than my fifty percent. So, why not leave him?

I thought about that on numerous lonely nights and the reason I stayed was because I married him for better or worse. I hoped that this was the worse part of it and that eventually it would get better. My husband was successful and has a future ahead of him. I wanted to be a part of that.

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